Growing

petals blow in the wind, days grow longer

now walking down this road all night,

my hands aren't cold

your heavy name float up in the wind,

then drop by my feet

maybe you haven't left me yet either

sometimes i spend the day not reminded of you

sometimes i dream of someone other than you

but you keep flowering in my heart

in my heart, no no no no

you bloom, it hurts

up to the point no one else knows

i've live missing you

if i cried out loud

maybe i could've gotten over you better

i cry, my lips telling me of your heart

our love flutters away..

i swore i could carry on without you

i believed i'd get over you in a few seasons

but flowers like you flourish on the streets

again no no no no

it's cold spring again...

result??

it's great but at the same time still not enough effort that i put in it..2A, 1A-, 3B+ and 2B..hahaha..obciously no C but 60 for sejarah is pretty bad..but the most important thing is i'm a member of 5 Bakerara next year..i did take kak oat as my role model and as a result i get to be in the same class that she was in this year...but with new friends and most probably new dormates next year will be hard for me to face SPM...good luck puteri..you can do it..i just know it.. 

the only memories between us are only those picture...i really hope u realise about that..realise that you didn't spend most of your time with me...

until the end...she still didn't talk to me...didn't try to make jokes with me..didn't invited me to have some of those snack..didn't listen to what i said...didn't send me any letter that said thank u or what..i'm a bit dissappointed when the kad in my loker was from kak sofi...i'm glad but in the same time i feel hurt...this is our last day but u still didn't do anything with me or to me..

A letter from me to You

if u read this, then i guess u always read the rest of my post isn't it?? well then..i've something tolet u know..

Dear You,

it's my first time writing letter to you in a blog..obviously i'm afraid to tell u myself..remember the time when we first met?? i only remember back then that u are my neighbour when i saw u out of your house waiting for the bus..i was so awkward that day..especially when u talked to me for the first time asking me to get on the bus first..hmm...time flies fast aren't they? we went through many hard times together..but most of the time it was my fault..i know u well..so i know that u already moved on..hmm..i guess i'm the only one that still not moving on..i didn't mean to play your feeling..i just don't know what is...i want to nod my head yes but i keep saying no..isn't it??

i always remember the time when u saw me, crying in front of the dewan..and i said i cry bcuz i told my friend about korean drama..i did tell u it's becuz i told her about u..i guess i had the worst love line compare to my friends...i spoil everything..i broke my promise to syahmi to take care of your heart..to always make u happy..i guess i'm not the right person for that..

i say your name everyday since i came here..whether i'm sad or happy..it's bcuz i would really want u to know what i've been through here..it feels like all that happen to me here are punishment to me bcuz i once broke your heart...i felt guilty until i wrote letters to your every week but i don't think i can give it to you..

i wish we could go back to the old times..i'm willing to been through that hard time again as long as i can spent time with u...i want to be with u more than just a friend but i can't...i know this letter will only bother u..if u read this and u feel hurt..u can curse me how many times u want..but i hope..no i wish..we could spent this first week of school holiday together..just like how we did everyday those past years...i'm so sorry if this letter bother u..

                                                                                                                           your sincerily,
                                                                                                                                puteri

i try to endure these myself but i don't think i can bear it anymore..i'll try to ask for my parent permission to get out of this fu*king school and i'll do better next year when i'm at my old school..it's all bcuz of her..if it wasn't for her..i would stay here and don't even think to get out of this school..

it's not a great day at all..my dormmates seem to avoid talking to me..and that makes me wondering around and felt so so so lonely..esp zeti who i saw she was laughing with my friend and when i talk to her, she looked so stress.. i hate this feeling..and what makes me feel more sad is that i can't even tell my mom what's going on here..she sometimes okey..sometimes not..like just now she said that she wants to borrow my earphone a bit longer as nicely as she used to...i wonder  am i the only one who feel this? then i must be crazy..cuz i cry alone about things that never happen..